goldmourn (amberdawnpullin) wrote,
goldmourn
amberdawnpullin

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dreams and celebrities

Well, I certainly had interesting dreams last night. Very interesting. Consisting of the house grandpa wilson had on elm street, my mom was in it, so was bryan, briefly, Guy was there (we fought though), then Bono from U2 was there and I had sorta an affair with him, and then he started giving me money - cheques, for outrageous amounts, and my cats were in the house and mom and I discussed how we'd set up the rooms, and she wanted to put a phone out in the backyard because it's so huge so that if she was working in the garden she wouldn't miss a call (the cordless wouldn't reach or something) and then there was the drives in the limo with bono and not letting people know we were involved and then his agent gave me paperwork I had to fill out with rules and I grew disappointed because I couldn't follow them (like be graceful, etc, etc) and somewhere along the line Bono turned into Guy... (grrr!) And the thing is, when I dreamed of puking into a toilet the other night, it was the bathroom at the nice house grandpa wilson had. I've probably dreamed of the place twice in a row now because of what's going on with mom and bryan. I've dreamed of it before too. There was a lot more to the dream. Like rats in the floor of the fancy living room that mom showed me, and I could barely move and I didn't want her to lift the door up until I was safely away with the light switch turned on and then she had a tough time closing it and I helped somehow but still, I had occasions during the dream where I couldn't function properly, where I couldn't move the way I wanted to, move my arms right or walk right or move. I've had those before though. "Bono" was actually quite nice although he was obviously Guy before too long. The whole money thing probably has to do with my worries about my situation and Guy's situation and other people's situation... The cheques became large though, kinda outrageous. I mean, a million dollars, just for being his friend? The dream ended with me in the bank, cashing it. Some weird guy came up during the transaction while she was counting out the money and put his change in her hand. We were calling for security at that point. As though that would happen anyway. I'm not that materialistic (or else I'd go to work more) but I guess most of us who don't have much money or grew up rather "poor" have thoughts of winning the lottery or making a lot of money somehow. Thinking of all the things you could do if you had the money to do so. That house was a nice house though. Made me think that it'd be nice if Guy and I could get it together and build a life together. Maybe not a fancy house, more like a creative little one would be just as nice. A place of our own with land of our own and space to express ourselves. To feel comfortable and not have to worry about being torn apart again by distance, until death. I've been writing this just after waking up and the thoughts are all jumbled. I think I'm just getting out of the last dream-like state. Anyway, I rarely dream of celebrities. Next to never and I can state exactly the last dreams I remember of dreaming of them. Obviously this one of Bono would be nothing close to who he is or what he'd do. But I remember years ago a dream of Michael Jackson and that one seemed to be real. He was in a hotel and there were crowds of people outside it and I was talking with him. He was upset about what was going on (the controversy over the little boy that he was said to have had sexual relations with) and he was saying that he loves children, and that he wouldn't hurt them and so on and so on... I mostly listened to him talk. I didn't see myself there. I saw him pacing. And then years and years ago Donnie Wahlberg (of the New Kids on the Block at the time) helped me wash dishes at my dad's old place and I talked to him about my step-mother abusing me and he was actually quite a good listener and comforting. That was when I was much younger. The rest of the time I dream of strangers or people in my life. Okay, I think I'm done rambling now. I didn't write down every detail of my dreams that I had last night but I think the basic idea is there.

I need to take my medications and get moving for today. I will work out and get myself in order as I return to work tomorrow - finally. I need to get my life back on track. It's not like Bono is gonna come along and write me checks for huge amounts of cash. Not likely to happen....
Tags: dreams & nightmares
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