goldmourn (amberdawnpullin) wrote,

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dreaming of good

first night without medication in awhile. went to sleep after one-thirty in the morning after talking with gwen. dreamed about matthew good. it's okay though because we talked about his wife jenny in the dream (yes, he's married) and the dream didn't involve sex or anything. last night I took over i heart huckabees to dad's house and he watched it twice. i like mark wahlberg's performance in it most alongside with dustin hoffman and his talk about infinity and the inter-connectedness of things. where i'm going with this is that in that movie, there is a coalition that tries to save 'Open Spaces' (environment-related) and in my dream, there was a meeting for an organization that didn't have a name and it was related to saving the planet too - awareness campaigns of some sort - no, i think it was more like 'fight club' style guerilla resistance underground action but anyway, in the the dream, i had to sign a contract - on the top of the paper, i had to write down what i wish for. (i think this wishing thing comes from real life because at work when i wore a necklace my friend Tracey would adjust it around for me and tell me to make a wish) and the wish is always the same - to not be fat anymore, to be healthy & feel better and blah blah blah - i wrote part of that down on the paper in my dream. so yeah, matthew good was there. we decided to play chess. there were other people around and little discussions going on. waiting. i told him that i visit his blog a lot and that i feel the same way about a lot of what he writes about, but that i don't use my journal in that way (actually, my paper journal tends to be more political than my online one - i really do care about what's going on in the world but i tend to be more personal on other matters in my LJ instead) anyway, so I'm telling him that i don't comment because i feel that everyone else is usually saying what i want to say anyway and that i'm not a stalker type, (not really) but that i actually admire how he writes about these issues online and he said he'd read some of my journal (reciprocated links) but somehow i doubt that he's ever read me in real life - guess i was trying to humor myself there. then i said, "i think i creeped out your wife when i commented in her blog lately. i didn't mean to come across like that," and he knew what i was talking about and i guess i just needed to get that out because it's been bothering me for awhile that i may have just been seen as weird or creepy to her and blah blah blah. talked about the connection between them and how strong they are together and it wasn't a bad conversation at all - more like two friends talking about things, you know? and i also said that if i was at a concert of his, i wouldn't be throwing things or drunk or anything. i love music and i like to listen to it. for instance, when i was at Sarstock and heard Sam Roberts for the first time - no screaming while the act is performing - just listen, feel it, sing or clap along and dig it, man. yeah, i'm telling him about this in my dream. this is a recent thing he had posted about too - a recent performance where the crowd acted like idiots - and i guess it's on my mind. gwen & i were talking about matthew good (okay, I was talking about him) before i went to sleep so this dream shouldn't surprise me at all. and it was a nighttime neighbourhood and there was something going on where the vampires were coming out and i had a recollection of the same scene from earlier nightmares & various dreams so I'm trying to tell the people what exactly is going to happen and how we're going to protect ourselves and so it went. i haven't dreamed that vividly or walked into an adventure nightmare sequence in awhile. and i've missed the dreams where i've been before and i have a chance to somehow make a difference - but no one ever believes me and it is never exactly the same. then i wake.
Tags: dreams & nightmares

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