goldmourn (amberdawnpullin) wrote,

I did a spell in my dream.

I did a spell in my dream. Haven't done that in awhile. I had various things happen in my dream but near the end, in the part I remember most, my father and I were going through belongings of ours that were in piles on the floor. We were in a porch of some kind with two doors leading to the rest of the place. In the other room the bad man was having an auction, selling the stuff. Dad was attempting to pack what he could in such a way that we'd be able to carry it out of there. I was handing the bags of stuff we didn't want to the man who was auctioning through the door. I realized he would be catching on to us and I knew we couldn't take everything in one trip so I did a spell to only allow dad and I through the doors so that nothing of ours could be stolen while we were gone. Then I remembered all of Guy's things in boxes and if they discovered them then there would be nothing left so I redid the spell to allow only dad, myself and Guy inside. Someone tried to get through the door and my spell worked but then they were able to get through the other door as I didn't have time to get to that one. I had a lot of dreams and there was one where my mom's side of the family was in it and we were sitting down to a meal. I miss my Aunts, my Uncle Gerry, my cousin Toni and my grandparents... never see them... I'd also been thinking about mom and Bryan a lot lately so it's no wonder....

I'm hurt that my mom "Cathy" hasn't spoken to me and I miss Bryan. I have a note written on a large index card from my mom on the day she left my place with my furniture.


small green tv table in livingroom

Hope chest


Desk Bryan & I bought you

Think of it this way kiddo... You'll have room for all your NEW crap now.


It hurt me more when I stumbled upon it cleaning Guy's desk. I hadn't expected to see it and didn't know that I had kept it. Now I only feel sad when I read it. She signed it Cathy as though that doesn't make her my mom anymore. Wanting to not be my mom doesn't change the fact that she is... Anyway, it's times like this, like dealing with this sore boob thing, that I wish she was here for me.
Tags: dreams & nightmares

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