goldmourn (amberdawnpullin) wrote,

excerpts from paper Journal #16

January 11th, 2003

"I want to write. I want to be a good writer. I should have kept my paper journals consistently over the years --- I would probably write far better. Today Dad & Laurel took me to Chapters, Adam too. I went straight for Kurt Cobain Journals and after buying that I looked to the Bargain Section & saw a book that I've wanted for some time - The Journals of Sylvia Plath 1950-1962. I have wanted to read her journals for some time and still intend on adding a collection of her poetry to my (poetry book) collection. I read about the Kurt Cobain Journals in a magazine not too long ago. One of the interesting coincidences about Plath is that she also (like me) started keeping a diary/journal at the age of 11! Only she clearly was more intelligent and an excellent descriptive writer. Maybe if I start reading all of these books that I have surrounding me here in this living room I could improve myself, eh? I have been thinking of bookshelves lately & of how I want more..."

"Yesterday I walked home through a flurried snow squall and made it to the tracks just in time for a train to go by. Traffic backed up on each side & I stood there wearing Guy's winter coat grinning my face off. The train was cargo & seemed to go on for many minutes. I thought of them becoming impatient in their warm vehicles while I stood there in the cold with my short hair soaked with big fluffy snowflakes. I looked down the tracks but couldn't see very far due to the flurries. The boxcars appeared to be moving toward me out of nowhere - a foggy mist of mystery - and I felt like jumping up & down like a child laughing when I saw the railway cars from older days - door open to show an empty inside much like the travelers would hop for free. Only briefly did I think of morbid scenes such as myself running at the train and falling under the wheels - a grotesque splash contrasting the snow. I didn't feel cold until I was almost home & then it hurt my head.

I like to watch "Late Show With Conan O'Brien". I wrote that down on a piece of paper last night. It seemed important at the time."
Tags: relating to sylvia plath

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