March 29th, 2008

alice lost in labyrinth

get your shit together

[12:31] hippieartmanfriend*: i think you should get your shit together and go grant hunting
artists grants
and stuff
[12:31] goldmourn: I don't have any artistic things going for me, honestly.
[12:32] hippieartmanfriend: im not sure what it is you do exactly but i think its really good and even more so very individual and fresh
the photos and the journal stuff
its just a slight bend from being art
i think its your perspective
if you started to see it the way i do it would be
[12:33] goldmourn: perhaps...
Maybe once things are less stressful, or at least, when I make it through this process, I could do that. Right now I just don't have the confidence for it.
[12:35] hippieartmanfriend: i understand
keep documenting then
thats my advice
[12:36] goldmourn: I will. Something will come of it, hopefully something good, in time.
[12:36] hippieartmanfriend: im sure of it
[12:37] goldmourn: Thank you for your positivity.
[12:38] hippieartmanfriend: youre one of my favorite people
i see lots of promise and a bright future for you
[12:38] goldmourn: Awww, that's lovely of you to say! Thank you so much. That means a lot.
[12:39] hippieartmanfriend: hey, im not like making it up for you, its been there before i showed up, i can see it is all
[12:39] goldmourn: I hope one day that I will see it too.

* not his real screen name
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    (podcast) NPR broadcast about "There Will Be Blood"
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we are all mad

2007 review: self portraits

I'm a few months late in posting my year in review but since I liked doing this type of post last year - clicky clicky! - I thought I'd give it a go again. I've continued with the 365 Days project but it's only sporadically. I'm also not that keen on it lately because I only have the use of my camera phone. I haven't given up on it completely and hey, maybe there will be a year where I actually follow the rules of the project and take a self portrait each day... ha!

January
365 Days: Day 18

[15 January 2007]


February
'tis true

[19 February 2007]


March
365 Days: Day 90

[28 March 2007]


April
365 Days: Day 97

[04 April 2007]


May
17 May 2007 @ 11:56:16pm

[17 May 2007]

Close second: this one.

June
30-06-2007 2-19-57 PM

[30 June 2007]


July
365 Days: Day 216

[31 July 2007]


August
365 Days: Day 220

[04 August 2007]


September
365 Days: Day 256

[09 September 2007]


October
365 Days: Day 300

[23 October 2007]


November
365 Days: Day 313

[05 November 2007]


December
365 Days: Day 339
[01 December 2007]
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alice directions

Toronto Subway Tour

Introduction: When I was 17 years old, I rode the Toronto subway system from one end to the other, both lines, alone. Here is my attempt over 10 years later, only this time I'm not alone.

Journal #21: pages 10 & 11


We started at Ossington Station and stopped at Bay / Yorkville where we turned around and went the other way so that we could have roti for supper. As good a reason as any!

High Park
High Park

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alice lost in labyrinth

At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.

The tracks went under an old stone bridge outside unspoken boundaries of childhood. I remember walking that set of rails with someone who told me there'd be another bridge up ahead. Sure enough, there was, but this one had no railings, no walkway alongside or any bars to grip. The tracks extended themselves over a drop where trees couldn't reach that high. I was just a kid and the gaps between each wooden railway tie seemed much too big. I made the attempt to cross on a dare, doing so on my hands and knees, but didn't manage more than a crawl past the edge of ground for fear of falling through.

Just the other day, wanting to push at boundaries, I approached the same bridge. The gaps were smaller but the danger - the bend, the drop, the earth down below - it was still there. This time, I made it across the entire way with someone beside me. Blatant determination to cross that bridge, symbolic of all this past tracked through me - and the boy's hold on me as tight as his hand.

stop before crossing


For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
- Fr. Alfred D’Souza