May 20th, 2007

alice lost in labyrinth

dear matthew good,

I dreamed about you last night.

This time, you were a new teacher at the school. You were going to teach history AND current events (perfect, really) but it also seemed to be a course on you. I haven't been going to school regularly and my marks aren't reflective of what I could actually accomplish so this was likely an anxiety dream but for you to make an appearance was pretty neat.

While you knew who I was (and other people who had screen names that had been following your website for years, your music, the slivers of your life you reflect to us, who were also in the class) there were a few students who knew you only as a teacher. And that was cool actually, because hey, we are not this or that unless we are all things and nothing, eh? I was liking that I could hear you speak directly about what you were passionate about in person and learn from you in the classroom but when you pulled the tests out, I didn't do so well. That is where the questions turned out to be mostly about you and I didn't know the particulars of everything because even though I do tend to follow you from site to site and write you these rambling nonsensical emails, I really don't have factoids about your life memorized - I would know more if I were tested on history or current events, ya know? This girl that is in in one of my classes (in real life) only had two wrong on your test while I did horribly bad (at least 30 wrong, though there were over 200 questions, what a hard ass!) and I'm hard on myself and I knew I coulda shoulda done better.

I remember noting in the dream that you looked happy. To wonder at all the people that dream about you, perhaps on the same nights, I wonder how close any of us can get to picking up on anything that is real? Likely nothing, no more so than we can while awake.