July 25th, 2005

alice lost in labyrinth

many a thank you would not a do

Thank you very much to everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday & today, either in comments or via the text message feature through my LJ user info page. When I got home, I found about 20-something messages and only 3 of them were from He Who Must Not Be Named. Many blessings upon those who answered my plea. I must take this opportunity to say that my LJ friends (and aquaintances) absolutely rock. I know I've missed your birthdays. I know I don't comment much. I know I type posts that make you want to throw things at the monitor screen or scroll past with wincing fingers (can fingers wince?) but I also remember why you're on here. Maybe it was a comment exchange a few years ago (it's been that long?!) or maybe it was an exchange on Yahoo or MySpace or AOL or through an LJ community or a mutual friend. Maybe there was one brief time period where we connected on a deeper friendship level or an understanding of one another's souls. Maybe none of that. Maybe you've just not had the heart to cut me from your friends list yet because now & then you see that we have something in common or you're just holding on a bit longer because you're hoping that the storyline will get better. Maybe it's not anything like that. But I remember when you stood up for me. I remember when you told me honestly what you thought of a situation and didn't mince words (or even dice them!) and I remember that you were taking a moment of your time to share your thoughts with me. I remember the kindness. I'm just another person sitting somewhere at a desk clicking away on a keyboard and it's mostly possible that our interaction might never reach further than the distance between my screen and yours. It is at this moment in time that we are somehow linked though. Maybe not for long. Maybe only in passing. But we're here. For someone like myself who doesn't get out very much (what, you couldn't tell?!) well, this outlet is important to me. I'm one of those LJ'ers who mentions my LJ friend in such-and-such a place with people in my 'real life' just as easily as I might mention them to you in this place. You're real to me because of your words, the way you express yourself, the life you share with others in this debated and often parodied medium. We're doing something people didn't do when I was born. We're making new friendships and forming relationships with people we would never have met if it hadn't been for the internet. We're breaking our hearts and mending them time and again in front of invisible knowing eyes. We are the music (and magic!) makers. We are the dreamers of dreams. We're old friends from childhood watching each other be grown almost as often as we're dancing briefly with strangers in ecstatic momentary recognition and we're writing ourselves out of definition.

i <3 you all. thank you for being here.

i don't remember my birthday from last year. my friend tracey & i went out for a bite to eat this afternoon and among much girl talk, we noted that we had just celebrated my 25th birthday (2 years ago). looking on the bright side, hey, i haven't o.d'ed in over a year & i've not taken scissors to my hair & surprise of all surprises, i'm still here! so cheers & all that, eh? (and cheers to you, too!)
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