October 1st, 2002

doctor who places you will go

i see dead people.

i see dead people. walking dead people. in my dreams. "i shot you. you're supposed to be dead. stop coming toward me. this is my dream dammit and you're supposed to be dead again - i won't let you eat my head - so stop. right. there." It was much like going over the rules of frozen tag when someone didn't stop in place but instead kept moving. "Hey! That's not how the game is supposed to be played!"

And there was a flood of water rushing for us beside the house on Edward Street, between the church and the fence. "hold on" he said, and showed me that there were two ropes to get myself in between. I could feel my hands clenched, a tight grip, the water rushing toward me... over me... around me... everything was water. {I let go}

I have been having the most amazing dreams the past few days. Scary, vivid, storytelling dreams. And I like it. Who needs TV with dreams like these?


I am expecting that the landlord will be by this evening for rent. Thanks to my dad, I have the rest of last month's rent (195.25) in the form of a money order and he is also helping me out with October rent - should have it tomorrow. I am relieved and grateful but feeling ashamed. Both Dad and Guy have bailed me out of this mess countless times and they're not the only ones who would rather that not be the case. I am hoping that this is truly the last time I am in this predicament of my own making.