April 16th, 2001

doctor who places you will go

I dreamed that I wanted to go to church.

I dreamed that I wanted to go to church at the Salvation Army in St.Thomas... badly. I wanted to make arrangements with the Captain for someone to drive all the way here to get me for church and take me home. I would pay for gas and pay extra for the trouble if only someone would help me so that I could go to that church. Now, I haven't been to church in years and my thoughts and beliefs have changed quite a bit from when I was a young(er) girl. The church is around the corner and down the street from the doctor's office. It's a new building, or rather, built in recent years and one time Dad and I let curiosity get to us and went in for a look. I was a bit morbid and mysterious. Discovered the captain had never even heard of my step-mother which means she's not a part of the church there. It was a weird experience. I was so actively involved in the old church. Now, why would I be wanting to go to that church so desperately? I actually gave reasons in my dream. To discipline myself more. To dress up every Sunday in a skirt or dress like I used to growing up. To be able to sing again... I had other dreams as well but I've let them slip away from me...

I don't want to write anymore right now.