The landlady was here today and when she asked about rent and when I would have the money, all I could say in response was, "I don't know... I don't know." Not a good thing. I'll have to wait until Monday before I can get any answers for myself, let alone for the landlords. In the meantime, my rational mind is trying to get me to calm down about it because there is nothing that I can do about it until the new week begins and so there is no sense in spazzing out over it but of course there is that part of me that remains in panic mode. It's not as if I haven't been through this a hundred times before, right? And yet it doesn't get any easier.
I had active dreams last night. There was the usual horror and adventure bits but for a change there was some fun, too. I played a great game of basketball and also learned how to dance. The instructor was a man in his late fifties to mid sixties, but quite healthy and energetic. It seemed to me that this dream was in the past and that same man would be in his seventies or eighties now, make any sense? The music was something similar to Glenn Miller, Benny Goodman and other Big Bands of the era. The dancing class took place in a school gym the same as the basketball game that had occured earlier, and there was a lot of other people that I didn't know in the dream as well. Going over the dance steps with other couples partnered up was fun and I remember vividly looking at the floor to watch my steps. I did well at that too and the man who was teaching us paired up with me and we showed the people how it was done. I felt good at being complimented and it felt wonderful to dance, to hear the music and to learn the moves. I would like to learn how to ballroom dance as well as other forms, for sure. The basketball game was competitive and I was impressed that I could play without being intimidated by the sport or other players. Yes, those were my favorite parts of the dream. Before all that I had other dreams with family in it and Guy but those segments have left me. The part most vivid was the joy I felt in dancing and the confidence when the instructor and I were going over the dance moves. I woke up and went into the living room to see if I had learned what I had been 'taught' in the dream - step step step turn step step - but then I woke up more and proceeded onward to the washroom. Sometimes I wish the dream wouldn't end but my bladder is much too persuasive.