goldmourn (amberdawnpullin) wrote,

10, No, 6 Realistic Ways To Deal With Depression

10. Sleep.
It's all you have the energy to do anyway, so crawl under those covers, hide from the world and sleep. Sleep all day. Sleep all night. Sleep through special event days, weekends, gorgeous weather - sleep through it all. Sleep until you've slept through feeling tired, beyond awake and back into being tired again. Sleep and sleep and sleep.

9. Stay awake.
Insomnia is awesome. Sure, you feel like clawing your face off, but you've become a creature of endless time. Time is irrelevant, as it can be for the sleeper, so it is for those who don't sleep. But there's an upside to staying awake: you do stuff. You can listen to the quiet of night. Write incoherent self-indulgent drivel in your paper journal but in a DEEPER way because it's so dark out and deep things happen in the dark. You can read in between trips of feeling sick in the washroom from your body fighting against the lack of sleep - the body is pushed to exhaustion but the mind is turning over like an engine someone won't give up on already. This sickness feels unreal. This eventually may lead to #10... if you're lucky... but then you're back here again at #9.

8. Take your medication.
Yes, follow your prescription even though you know the drugs don't work anymore. Take them as prescribed unless you're having one of those nights where perhaps dipping into an extra couple from your stash (the pills you missed those times you slept through medication time) and realize that even then you're not going to feel all better. But take your medication. You know that if you don't, after a few days, you're going to feel worse. Think about all the people that are living seemingly happier lives because there were able to choose the path of self-medication - booze & drugs & socially acceptable oblivion. Wish you'd never been put on prescription drugs in the first place.

7. Don't go outside.
You don't need fresh air. Fresh air is for the deserving. The functional ones. Besides, does it even exist anymore? (Fresh air and outside - if you're not out there to enjoy it, does it? I mean, does a tree make a sound blah blah etc?) Going outside might make you feel part of the world or remind you that there are other people or that there's a nice park nearby or a sky with clouds or the sun or the moon and things going on beyond the cave you've made for yourself. Do you want to be reminded of this?

6. Forget friends.
Same goes for family, if you have any. Friends and family are over-rated. I mean, if they were so great, why would you feel so alone? Forget about them. Besides, if they cared, they'd come over and see you, right? Even if you don't answer the phone, keep the door locked, delete emails without replying, go days without bathing. They don't want to hear the same ol' same ol' anyway. You should just get over it already. Snap out of it and be whoever they think you should be, doing whatever they think you can do. So forget friends and everyone else. They'll make you see what you're missing. If you've successfully followed #10, 9, 8 & 7, you probably don't have any friends so don't worry about this point too much - unless you want another thing to feel depressed about.

5. Lose Interest.
Start something and then stop. Reasons to do this could be: 1) inability to concentrate on one task for any good length of time 2) unable to maintain interest in the things one enjoys to do or wants to accomplish 3) you're a lazy no-good person that no one expects will amount to anything, why even bother to try and wouldn't it be much easier to deal with the sense of worthlessness that comes along with not achieving goals or having a happy life? You say this isn't right? That you don't want to think this way but you can't seem to change the way your mind thinks just by wishing it were so?

Then refer to #1.
Tags: about, poetry & prose

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