[When I was a kid, I BELIEVED that if I thought something would happen, it would be guaranteed NOT to happen, and if I thought something couldn't or shouldn't happen, it was much more likely to occur than before. And I tried to trick things into happening by thinking the opposite of what I wanted to be the case, but it resulted in a kind of fatalistic worldview because I knew it didn't count to try to fool the universe, and my true opinion was still in my head and thus warped my intention.] -faery_fall
personal note: This is exactly how my brain still works today.