goldmourn (amberdawnpullin) wrote,

True Love Meme

1. What does true love mean to you?
I'm not so sure that I could put that into concise sentences but I answered this Discovery Health quiz on the subject and scored perfect! That means absolutely nothing, of course, but I thought I should share. Anyway, this question reminds me of a scene from 'The Princess Bride':

Inigo: We're in a terrible rush.
Max: Don't rush me sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. You got money?
Inigo: Sixty-five.
Max: Sheesh! I never worked for so little; except once and that was a very noble cause.
Inigo: This is noble sir. His wife is...crippled...children on the brink of starvation...
Max: Are you a rotten liar.
Inigo: I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these twenty years.
Max: Your first story was better. Where's that bellows cramp. He probably owes you money, huh. Well, I'll ask him.
Inigo: He's dead. He can't talk.
Max: Ooooohhh! Look who knows so much, eh! It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Please open his mouth. [He inserts the bellows] Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, all dead...well, with all dead, there's usually only one thing that you can do.
Inigo: What's that?
Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change. [Max pumps air into Wesley and yells at him] Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What's so important? Whatcha got here, that's worth living for? [Max pushes on Wesley's chest]
Wesley: [barely audible]
Inigo: [excited] True love! You heard him! You could not ask for a more noble cause than that.
Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world; except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich - when the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato's ripe. They're so perky. I love that. But that's not what he said! He distinctly said, 'to blaithe.' And as we all know, to blaithe means to bluff. So, you were probably playing cards and he cheated...
Old woman: [interrupting] Liar!! Liar!! Liarrrrrrr!

2. How do you know you're really in love?
You just know. Or, at least, you think you know. And then, there comes a time, when you know.

3. How many times in your life have you fallen in love?
I have no idea. It depends on what your definition of falling in love is.

4. Have you ever fallen out of true love because you were mad at the moment?
What? Then obviously it wasn't so-called "true love" - more like infatuation, eh? It's much more difficult to fall out of something that has become so planted in yourself. Yes, I've let go of people who I felt intensely for, even believing myself to be "in love", but that was not because I was mad. In fact, usually, in that moment, it was out of love.

5. Do you feel love and physical attraction are the same thing?
No. Silly question.

6. If your true love became ill or disfigured would you continue to love them the same way?
Love - true love, whatever you want to call it - changes with time and circumstance. If two people cannot be open to change in the other person or / and the difficult things that happen throughout life, then likely the relationship will not be so loving. Things happen. People change. If your feelings of love for a person are not able to adapt to the situation, then it is yourself who can't accept the changes. Illness tends to affect both people in a relationship and if they can't work through it together or face their own idea of what their love should be / look / feel like being challenged, then that sucks. To answer this question, it would depend on how my partner responds to their own illness and if we're able to deal with it together. I could love them more if they let me in and if this hardship has led us to a deeper level of understanding, both in our relationship and ourselves.

7. Should anyone else be able to tell you who to love or not love?
At one time, I would have said, "No way!" For years, I defiantly held fast to something that was terribly unhealthy and harmful and so, should anyone else be able to tell me who to love or not to love? Yes, they should be able to. Does that mean I should stop loving who I want to love? No! I believe it is important to take into consideration the thoughts and opinions of those whom you trust or are closest to you when it comes to a love relationship but believe that it likely won't make any difference if you are "in love" - if you're like me, you'll do what you want anyway, even if it's stupid. (My view is similar to what berryvox wrote: "No. They may have good points and it's probably worthwhile to listen to their viewpoints. But, in the end, it's your decision and your life.") This is a difficult question because I think that while one shouldn't be told who they can love or not love, and that there are certainly instances where listening to other people and denying your own heart can be devastating, there are also times when it is good to proceed with caution if everyone else who loves you is holding up stop / yield and warning signs! By the way, I was told I shouldn't love someone. I did anyway. I learned a lot from it.

8. Do you believe people that ended up divorced were ever truly in love?
Yes. Seeing as how the reasons for divorce or the breakdown of a relationship are so vast, of course there are people who were "truly in love" but just couldn't make it work. Maybe they divorced because they weren't able to communicate their needs well. Maybe they weren't mature enough to realize that living together would mean compromise and putting up with each other's shit. Maybe they didn't realize that even when you're in love, the world won't be all sunshine, rainbows and pretty flowers all the time. Maybe something tragic happened that they couldn't cope with either alone or together and it spun them off in entirely different directions? Then again, I could also answer this question with a No. I come from a multiple divorce background in my family situation and I have questioned the motives of some of the people involved regarding marriage. Meaning, to turn the question upside down, I don't believe that everyone who is married did it because they were "truly in love."

9. Would you give up something you want for someone you love?
If the person loves me, why would they want me to give up something I want? Then again, it all depends on what this thing is. Healthy relationships are definitely about compromise but when it comes to compromising yourself, well then, you need to think about why you would give up something you want, or why you would have to, or what impact it will have on yourself or why it is so important for the one you love that you give it up. Perhaps this question relates more to decisions where you have to leave the person to have what you want or something --- if it comes to a situation like that, I would think it'd take a lot of conversations and the decision of, "What will I regret more if I make this choice?"

10. If you truly love someone do you feel it should be unconditional?
I liked Rache's answer: "No, everyone has boundaries. If you let your love be unconditional, partners could do whatever they want and you'd let them. Basically, you'd be a doormat, and that's not good for anyone." I'm someone who definitely needs someone to put conditions on me, while still accepting the person I am - does that make sense? These conditions shouldn't be based on "I will only love you if..." but instead on "This (enter awful thing here) would break us so it's best if we / you / me don't do this, okay?" - see? Having said that, if your conditions aren't being met, perhaps you should re-evaluate your conditions or the relationship.

a softer world 1

Tags: about, excerpts

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