Awoke hour or more ago but stayed in bed until just before 8am. My meetings are this afternoon - I will make the most of the morning my way.
08:20 AM December 14, 2007 from txt
That means: folded comfy in a chair, scented candle burning, reading books & perhaps paper journal'ing while having juice & water.
08:22 AM December 14, 2007 from txt
In subconscious attempt to force myself to write, my cell adapter is irrepairably broken. Will access voicemail from other phones. No txts.
11:08 AM December 15, 2007 from txt
Note to self: turn facebook status follow OFF next time online. Twitter by txt doesn't work for me yet.
07:43 PM December 20, 2007 from web
Web browser on my phone is selective and limited. I am back in touch via cellphone again though, thanks to Dad.
07:45 PM December 20, 2007 from web
Thinking: I saw this coming.
08:13 PM December 20, 2007 from web
The internet has always been a sword and I find it difficult to balance on the blade.
08:16 PM December 20, 2007 from web
Maybe we have a good chance after all - despite circumstances or because of them.
01:59 AM December 21, 2007 from web
@ the library! Jeremy showed up earlier & we went to the mall & I bought some 'professional' clothes for the new job. It will get me by.
06:19 PM December 21, 2007 from web
Things have been difficult emotionally & otherwise but I have been learning so much from these experiences... so very much.
06:25 PM December 21, 2007 from web
w/o net access @ home, I miss having the time to at least read my LJ friends list, even if I didn't comment much. insert sigh here.
06:32 PM December 21, 2007 from web
Random Quote from one of my favorite comfort movies: "That could never happen now with our behavioral inhibitors."
11:29 PM December 21, 2007 from txt
Woken up by cat scratching just before my alarm was due to go off. 1st day of training today @ new full-time job nearby.
05:30 AM December 23, 2007 from txt
I am @ Dad's friend Laurel's daughter Donna's house for a Christmas thingy.
10:33 AM December 24, 2007 from txt
Yesterday was Christmas with my Dad. Today is more training at one of my new jobs. Right now is coffee.
08:58 AM December 25, 2007 from txt
7 months to the day until my 30th birthday. I wonder if my wish(es) will be the same and come true?
11:39 PM December 25, 2007 from txt
I am awake. Alarm goes off in an hour. I might just go exercise, write & read, aquaint myself with sleep deprivation.
04:09 AM December 26, 2007 from txt
Not that I haven't had my share of insomnia but next week I'll be working 2 full-time jobs for a few weeks. I want to get through this well.
04:14 AM December 26, 2007 from txt
My main concern is getting from one job to the other with time to change clothing. Speaking of which, I badly need to go to the laundromat!
04:18 AM December 26, 2007 from txt
I keep telling myself I can do this. I must if I hope to pay bills & survive, perhaps to thrive. 2nd job is part-time hours after training.
04:25 AM December 26, 2007 from txt
People are able to achieve far more when forced to & currently I have no choice. I want to be capable both physically & mentally. Concerned.
04:31 AM December 26, 2007 from txt
@ least I've been given the opportunity to acquire job skills, greatly needed! Reading in my spare time will help me through this humbling.
04:39 AM December 26, 2007 from txt
If this crumbles (or I do) at least I'll have tried. So long as I am attempting these things, I will not be a complete failure - I'm trying.
04:43 AM December 26, 2007 from txt
It is a great challenge for me but at least these employers don't exist to coldly cut me off. Now, I've been handed more dignity with a mop.
04:49 AM December 26, 2007 from txt
Nearly 5am. Might as well rise to meet the day. Still time to do some stretching exercise videos and book reading (poetry) before worktime.
04:59 AM December 26, 2007 from txt
Worked my 1st eight hour shift in years today. Never having done this sort of job before, I have so much to learn. Need to be patient.
04:44 PM December 26, 2007 from txt
Dignity. It's dignity I'm trying to attain, aside from a regular paycheck. I'm going about it the hard way but it's something I have to do.
04:49 PM December 26, 2007 from txt
I will be working my 1st night shift @ the store this evening. Now I am going to read through some of the textbook for the tax job training.
08:19 AM December 28, 2007 from txt
I had trouble getting up early this morning. Thankfully, I don't have to work until tonight. I wrote / typed more on the computer for my LJ.
08:23 AM December 28, 2007 from txt
As to when I'll actually post my journal entries online, that depends on whether I leave the house today. Think I'll stay in& take my break.
08:28 AM December 28, 2007 from txt
Med refills delivered today. Wondering what time(s) I should take my pills when I'll be working nights AND days. (don't know what I'm doing)
12:28 PM December 28, 2007 from txt
Thinking about the other morning walk to work: fog hanging around mainstreet buildings &the trees shimmer stark dustcover of snow &thin ice.
02:53 PM December 28, 2007 from txt
Crashed this a.m. after working the night shift. My body was exhausted & my mind blanked out. This has to change fast. Day training soon.
03:16 PM December 29, 2007 from txt
On Thursday I will be going from the 8 hour night job to the 8 hour training sessions. I need to be ready, physically & mentally.
03:19 PM December 29, 2007 from txt
Tonight - by quarter to midnight - I should be @ work for my first entire shift on my own. What an interesting way to start the new year!
05:05 AM December 31, 2007 from txt
Stopped reading a particular book from the library & moved on to the next one in the stack. This read is more interesting: on poor-bashing.
05:13 AM December 31, 2007 from txt
Just posted several entries to my LJ @ the library. Cleaned up facebook (those application requests = damn annoying) & now I'm heading home.
12:49 PM December 31, 2007 from txt
Listening to elliott smith on my ipod and thinking that I will be bringing in 2008 working the night shift alone. Could be worse.
12:53 PM December 31, 2007 from txt
Watching one of my favorite films - "Riding in Cars With Boys" - total chick flick but in ways I relate & connect w/the story; I'm inspired.
01:34 PM December 31, 2007 from txt
Not going to finish watching the film because I want to read before sleeping for work tonight. I'm looking over @ Lion; he's in a paper bag.
02:10 PM December 31, 2007 from txt
Still watching the film. Would be easier to stop if it wasn't a fave. "...do whatever it takes to get out of here. you don't belong here..."
02:38 PM December 31, 2007 from txt
I wouldn't think there'd be customers at midnight but ya never know. I've slept through some new years. @ least I'm starting off with a job.
09:13 PM December 31, 2007 from txt
Yes, of course I would prefer to celebrate it in Toronto with my boyfriend... I'll try not to think on that but just concentrate on my job.
09:17 PM December 31, 2007 from txt
Walking fast to get to Tim Horton's so I can fill my travel mug with caffiene. Hopefully I can still get to the store early before my shift.
11:27 PM December 31, 2007 from txt
Dammit. Tim's closed @ 11! Guess I'll definitely be early for work. Argh. Ah well.
11:30 PM December 31, 2007 from txt
Worked New Year's. It started snowing almost exactly at midnight & is still falling. I am tired but must stay awake to prepare for Thursday.
08:46 AM January 01, 2008 from txt
I crashed around 9am despite wanting to try to make it until 4pm. Work was in my dream. I start full day trainging soon. How will I do this?
02:26 PM January 01, 2008 from txt
I am a wreck.
11:57 PM January 01, 2008 from txt
I am standing at a bus stop. I hope I get this right. Morning!
07:51 AM January 03, 2008 from txt
Ouch. Fare is $2.50.
07:53 AM January 03, 2008 from txt
Must update LJ when I get the chance. Things have changed again. Not by choice. Wednesday ='d heartbreak. Yesterday, started the tax course.
07:55 AM January 04, 2008 from txt
The transit bus route, when I catch it early, takes a scenic route. It goes past the graveyard where my twin sister's stone is...
08:01 AM January 04, 2008 from txt
To avoid the scenic route and walk a little further, I should catch the bus when it stops across from City Hall around 8am.
08:03 AM January 04, 2008 from txt
Cliff is almost here! To visit! For the weekend! Me and him! Together! OMG!
09:31 PM January 04, 2008 from txt
I'm tiring of all these different experiences to learn from. I hope I learn the right things. Is it to leave me w/ more pieces to give away?
12:03 PM January 06, 2008 from txt
I want these experiences to slit me open for everything that is wrong inside to come out, that I would be good & loving and still be whole.
12:15 PM January 06, 2008 from txt
Woke up having a nightmare about Toni. (Temporarily out of service).
06:34 AM January 07, 2008 from txt
I am worried about my bird of a feather. I wish I had saved the number she called me with at Christmas.
10:58 AM January 07, 2008 from txt
There is no mail being delivered to my building because of the locks on the slots. Just saw official notice that mail is suspended.
06:01 PM January 07, 2008 from txt
I called the landlord and he said he'd be over in the morning. In the meantime, my mail is withheld and to pick it up, there is a charge.
06:01 PM January 07, 2008 from txt
I noticed that windows were set in the building across the street today. Not long & blinds or curtains, bedsheets or eyes will blink at me.
06:11 PM January 07, 2008 from txt
Something about the reflection of streetlights on the several window panes of an unfinished apt. building (makes it seem more incomplete).
06:16 PM January 07, 2008 from txt
Twitter just tipped me to go for a long walk. I already am doing so - taking photographs, listening to my ipod shuffle & in a medicated calm.
07:12 PM January 07, 2008 from txt
Part of Bonnie "Prince" Billy song: 'hey little bird, thank you for not letting go of me when I let go of you' - beautiful... I am moved so.
07:57 PM January 07, 2008 from txt
This morning: coffee in a BIG gorgeous 'Alice in Wonderland' mug (Christmas gift from Gwen!) as I wake up, reading about federal income tax.
06:18 AM January 08, 2008 from txt
Today is the 9th of the month which means my monthly mobile fee occurred. The web browser hasn't been deactivated yet.
05:39 AM January 09, 2008 from web
Yesterday I was paid the "last" check & because I don't know when or what my exact income will be, I've paid February rent ahead in full.
05:41 AM January 09, 2008 from web
I have been awake since 4am with this tax stuff.
05:48 AM January 09, 2008 from web
I am not able to send text messages or make/answer phone calls until I can top up my phone. It'd be great if my browser would keep working.
05:50 AM January 09, 2008 from web
I suspect the web browser on my phone will deactivate too. Just as well, I suppose. Other stuff I have to focus on.
05:52 AM January 09, 2008 from web
The tax class has been quite informative and I'm learning a lot of interesting things...
05:57 AM January 09, 2008 from web
Honestly, I'm a bit stressed. Concentration low & confidence struck another blow (on the weekend). Everything added up ='s a negative.
06:28 AM January 09, 2008 from web
I am trying to keep it together and I appear to be but I'm pretty much just dragging myself along, pushing my way through another day.
06:31 AM January 09, 2008 from web
It's difficult to make some choices while it seems that so many aren't actually yours to make.
06:37 AM January 09, 2008 from web
I want to live a life of meaning and not one that is demeaning.
06:39 AM January 09, 2008 from web
I took the risk of more heartbreak & loss to save some sanity. There are past unhealthy self-abuse patterns I want never to return to.
09:13 PM January 09, 2008 from web
I still believe in love - a love that can repair all heartache. Learning it has to begin somewhere within - connected to a pure everything.
09:19 PM January 09, 2008 from web
Mobile phone is activated again (thanks, Dad!) and I'm going to bed hours later than originally planned.
11:57 PM January 09, 2008 from txt